If Kennedy’s really opposed to socialism, then he can’t call a crackhead…or a cop the next time he finds himself in trouble
If Kennedy’s really opposed to socialism, then he can’t call a crackhead…or a cop the next time he finds himself in trouble
October 9, 2022 by tomaswell
John Neely Kennedy, aka Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie, has gotten a lot of national publicity over his latest reelection ad in which he admonishes those who hate cops to “CALL A CRACKHEAD” the next time they’re in trouble.
And national publicity is exactly what he was shooting for. It was, especially with the not-so-subtle racist overtones, vintage Kennedy.
Louisiana’s answer to Foghorn Leghorn – “Son, Ah say, son, You ‘bout as useless as taste buds on a butthole” – is a throwback to Earl Long, but without the charm or the good looks. He is convinced (and he’s probably correct, given the collective depth of political perception of the average Louisiana voter) that the more homilies he can throw out, the more votes he will capture.
On President Biden’s announced intention of nominating a black woman to succeed retiring Justice Stephen Breyer, Jed Clampett, er Kennedy opined that he’d prefer a nominee “who knows a law book from a J. CREW CATALOG.”
Clever, Gomer, er Kennedy. Except when once used, you don’t keep coming back with the same line – or even a variation of it – like your earlier line which substituted L.L. Been for L. Crew. I should know; it’s why I quit stand-up at a local comedy club. After years there, everyone in Baton Rouge had heard my joke.
And let’s not forget his opposition to all things that reek of socialism. Things like public roads and bridges, police and fire protection, water and sewer systems, public stadiums where rich athletes play, public schools, public libraries, recreation programs where your kids or grandkids play organized sports, zoos, social security, Medicare, FEMA, and the VA. And before any of you start confusing socialism with communism (they’re two entirely different philosophies), answer one question for me: what did you do with your stimulus checks you received during the pandemic? If you sent them back, you are free to criticize; If you cashed them, do not pass Go on this board game.
But what really puzzles me is why Kennedy, Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, and other fringe lunatic Republicans are so down on wokeness.
- Aren’t they the ones who insist that we “Don’t say gay”?
- Aren’t they the ones who insist that “offensive” books be removed, or at least relocated, in our public libraries?
- Aren’t they the ones who substituted “All Lives Matter” for “Black Lives Matter”?
- Aren’t they the ones who bitch and moan every time someone suggests a ban on assault weapons so there won’t be so many school children slaughtered?
- Aren’t they the ones who are scared to death of those hordes of murderers and rapists flooding our southern border?
- Aren’t they the ones stripping away women’s right of choice?
- Aren’t they the ones terrified of minority voting rights?
It doesn’t get any wokier than that.
Kennedy boasts in his ads that he was cited as one of the “10 most effective Republican senators in the 117th Congress. Well, considering the competition, that designation is no great shakes.
There’s Rick Scott who, as CEO of Health Management Associates, agreed to pay a fine of $260 million for Medicare/Medicaid fraud; Ted “Cancun” Cruz, “Lapdog” Lindsey Graham, Josh “Watch Me Run” Hawley, Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Mitch McConnell, Marco Rubio, and Tommy Tuberville, just to name a few of the contenders.