Ranking Mass Effect Boyfriends For Valentine’s Day

Yeah, Kaidan Alenko, the OG, the first squadmate you get in the trilogy, would make the best boyfriend out of anyone in the Mass Effect series.

Why? He’s kind, you never have to doubt his intentions because he wears his heart on his sleeve, he can provide for you because he has a good job as the second human Spectre and as a biotics teacher, he has hobbies in cooking and tech as demonstrated in the absolute nerd talk he has with Tali in Mass Effect 3, and he’s one of the only people on this list willing to call you out on your shit.

Were you upset in Mass Effect 2 when he called you out for working with Cerberus? Did you ever stop to consider that he was fucking right and maybe you’re just a little too defensive about being called out? Yeah, someone’s gotta keep you from getting out of line and doing ridiculous shit like working with a terrorist group, and if everyone else on this list is going to just be your yes man, you need someone who keeps you grounded. That’s Kaidan Alenko.

He is gentle, supportive but has a mind of his own, stern when he has to be, has a smokin’ hot bod, and your parents are both going to love him. That’s all you can ask for in a potential boyfriend.