Dear 90 Day Fiance, what are we doing here?

An unequivocal and unbearable truth of the 90 Day Fiancé franchise is that it has surpassed problematic in enabling and exploiting Angela Deem’s abusive behavior.

And frankly, it needs to stop.

Angela attacks Michael in the Tell All House.Angela attacks Michael in the Tell All House.
(TLC/Screenshot)

Angela Isn’t the “Queen” of 90 Day Fiancé; She’s a Blight

No, it’s nothing new that reality TV has essentially made stars out of problematic individuals.

It’s par for the course with the genre, and it has become so deeply embedded in the culture of reality television that it’s now treated as a shortcut or fast track to celebritydom.

But 90 Day Fiance has made some twisted form of starlet out of Angela Deem, and we’ve long since surpassed it being acceptable.

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The woman should no longer have a platform of any kind, and yet the franchise gleefully lays it out for her, allowing her to be hours late to reunion specials or holding them up, rolling out their rendition of a red carpet for her antics.

But here’s the thing: Her antics were never fun or entertaining.

Angela’s Reign of Abuse and Terror Has Gone on For Too Long

Angela goes on another tirade on 90 Day Fiance.Angela goes on another tirade on 90 Day Fiance.
(TLC/Screenshot)

Since her first appearance in 2018, Angela was problematic.

She’s been a part of this franchise and airing her and her family’s dirty laundry for SIX years!

It’s been six years too long since the network found more value in her disturbing behavior as a selling and promotion point rather than realizing that enough is enough and putting their foot down.

For six seasons, we’ve watched this woman dominate the franchise with some of the most grotesque and flagrantly abusive behavior (and there’s no shortage of that).

Angela’s abusive tendencies have become a staple of the series and one of their biggest promotional points for a three-part, dragged-out 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Tell All reunion special.

The 90 Day Fiance Franchise Exploits Angela’s Abuse for Ratings

Angela gets confrontation during the Tell AllAngela gets confrontation during the Tell All
(TLC/Screenshot)

For the past two installments from 90: Day Fiance: Happily Ever After After? Season 8 Tell-All, they’ve fixated on the drama of Angela and Michael’s marriage.

The season finally saw Michael arriving in America after a seven-year battle to get to the States.

Unsurprisingly, it was rocky territory, with Angela calling him out for the umpteenth time for verbally cheating on her and accusing him of scamming her.

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By then, it had been clear to every soul in America that these two are toxic for one another and that the relationship is abusive.

Yet, the series subjected us to this focus as if it was a celebratory occasion that Michael finally made it to America.

Michael’s Arrival in America Only Highlighted Angela’s Abuse More

Dinner at a restaurant goes horribly wrong with Michael and Angela.Dinner at a restaurant goes horribly wrong with Michael and Angela.
(TLC/Screenshot)

From that point forward, it became increasingly more disturbing to witness Michael directly in Angela’s environment with no place to go and having to deal directly with all of her toxicity and negativity.

Michael arrived at an unkept home, and Angela repeatedly joked about his arrival, meaning that he could clean it for her.

The charged nature of that statement and the power dynamic between the two was just another in a million instances over the years that didn’t sit right in one’s spirit.

But alas, it was just another “fun” thing to insert into the season’s edits for entertainment.

The season also seemed to delight in providing a “gasp-worthy” moment: Angela berating Michael and spitting on him for yet another imagined slight and, ironically, for lacking decorum.

There’s a Disturbing Disparity in the Response to Domestic Abuse Against Men

Angela throws a cake in Michael's face during heated argument.Angela throws a cake in Michael's face during heated argument.
(TLC/Gif)

There is an appalling double standard when it comes to the portrayal of domestic abuse against men.

For many years, the series and many of its contestants have casually dismissed Angela’s antics under the guise of “That’s just Angela.”

Their peers’ passive approach and reaction to Angela’s behavior are types of complicity that leave little space to properly address issues.

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The series very rarely calls Angela out for her actions; instead, it relies on them to deliver the “OMG” moments and drama that rake in the ratings and money.

Even the reunions and tell-alls accommodate and work around Angela’s aggressive, domineering, and abusive behavior rather than shut it down.

Angela Faces Zero Pushback or Accountability on 90 Day Fiance

Angela speaks her truth at the Tell All.Angela speaks her truth at the Tell All.
(TLC/Screenshot)

The other series stars and even Shaun Robinson tiptoe around Angela’s feelings, giving this woman the impression that if she walks off the stage or decides to opt-out at the barest hint of criticism, then the entire franchise and ratings will fall apart like a house of cards.

It’s so far from the truth that it’s laughable.

For multiple seasons, viewers face the same setup: Angela gets all of this space to truly go off the rails, and no one does anything about it.

Angela shuts down the few stars who challenge her, and most of the others either deem the drama “too much” or openly express that they’re afraid of her.

Angela gets to essentially and emotionally hold everyone else hostage under the guise of providing entertainment, and by now, there’s a severe underestimation of what viewers are willing to tune into for anymore.

The Age of Angela Running Rampant Needs to End

Angela gets emotional talking about Michael.Angela gets emotional talking about Michael.
(TLC/Screenshot)

This season, they did something unusual but with the full intent of maximizing viewers’ interest. The thought process behind sticking all of this season’s participants into a Tell-All House was sound.

For fans of the series, seeing everyone together under the same roof before they show up to unpack the season’s drama is a reality TV goldmine.

In many ways, the Tell All house delivered on that, giving us some of the series’s most likable and loathsome interactions.

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But in the same vein, much of the buildup revolved around whether Angela and Michael would show up at the Tell All house at all.

We knew they likely would by now, but Angela loves to draw things out, make them dramatic, and have the grand diva entrance.

And the show? Well, they accommodate that in all its glory.

Angela is on the attack again and crowds Michael.Angela is on the attack again and crowds Michael.
(TLC/Screenshot)

90 Day Fiance’s Complicity in Angela’s Toxic Abuse of Michael is Unacceptable

Once she and Michael showed up, they forced the most toxic exchange between them yet on viewers.

It was uncomfortable to watch Angela display all the classic moves of a narcissistic abuser, including alienating Michael from everyone, trying to control who he spoke to and what he said, and rallying the house against him so that they all sided with her.

She was aggressive, loud, brash, and disregarding his personal space.

What we witnessed was flat-out verbal and emotional abuse on our screens, and everyone in the house bore witness to it.

But very few were willing to call it what it was, tiptoeing around Angela or laughing her off as “crazy” before digging into their own drama.

Commendably, an unexpected supporter arose in the form of Rob, the only other house guest and star of the season, who told Michael directly that what Angela was doing wasn’t right and called her behavior what it was: abuse.

(TLC/Screenshot)

There was one lone voice in the crowd amongst a bunch of individuals either too afraid or too fame-motivated to be honest about what was happening and call things as they were.

We spent so much time watching Angela demean, berate, and assault Michael that it was evident some Quinn King cohort was enthusiastically seeing dollar signs and ratings over safety.

The Unchecked Normalization of Angela’s Abuse is Irresponsible and Dangerous

The lack of intervention as things gradually escalated was abhorrent, yet it was par for the course of Angela and Michael’s entire existence in this series.

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The Tell-All couch time was no better, with Michael unable to voice or express himself without Angela shutting him down or overtalking him.

He fielded accusations of scams and infidelity with the tone of the Tell All, somehow implying that his possible actions were somehow a catalyst to Angela’s behavior.

At this point, it doesn’t matter what Michael may or may not have done — nothing about Angela’s behavior is okay, nor should it be condoned.

Happy Michael - 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6 Episode 16Happy Michael - 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6 Episode 16
(Courtesy of TLC)

Yet we’ll be heading into another section of this neverending Tell-All, and the entire hook for it via promotion is Michael taking a lie detector test.

By this point, it’s so sick and twisted that clearly, everyone involved has lost the plot entirely.

We’re privy to all the flagrant abuse and toxicity onscreen and have been for years.

There’s Reality Behind the Entertainment With Reality TV

And it only worsens as we hear bits and pieces about everything that has unfolded offscreen.

There are many bits of information pouring in, including how Michael fled her home without telling her and prompting law enforcement to track him down to ensure that he was okay.

Strike a Pose! - 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6 Episode 16Strike a Pose! - 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6 Episode 16
(TLC/Screenshot)

He’s separated himself from her and spoken on social media and in interviews about needing the space and how he didn’t feel wanted, heavily implying he didn’t feel safe in the home with Angela.

He even specifically stated that he felt “scared” and spoke with the knowledge of someone who knows and feels that he doesn’t have much say in how he’s treated here as a Nigerian male immigrant in a relationship with a volatile American white woman.

I’ll call the thing the thing here; he has a valid reason to be wary.

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Yet none of this hinders Angela’s presence throughout multiple series in the 90-Day Fiance franchise.

If the roles were reversed, the network would not continue enabling an abuser as a cash cow for the franchise.

We’ve surpassed the point where Angela’s continued presence going unchecked is anything close to acceptable or okay.

Over to you, 90 Day Fanatics. Are you tired of TLC and the series condoning abuse? Let’s hear about it below.



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